In praise of chemo….
- It really works at killing cancer cells and therefore has a major hand in postponing your dirt nap
- You get to try out that pixie crop and then Sinead O’Connor/Sigourney Weaver/Demi Moore bald head you’ve always wondered what you’d look like sporting
- You get to sit down for uninterrupted 3 hour Scrabble/trashy mag/snooze marathons while being brought hot chocolate and stuffing your face with treats
- You don’t have to shave your legs for months and get a (relatively) pain-free Brazillian to try out for size (okay that last one is a bit of a stretch but its all about making the best of a situation you’d rather not be in)
On the flip side…
- You’ll more than likely lose most of your hair (starting 10-14 days after your first treatment) and your fingernails/toenails can follow suit
- You’ll feel hideously nauseous/hyped up from steroids/red in the face and generally rather tired and unwell (to put it mildly) after each treatment and for a good few days after.
- Your periods will almost certainly cease at some stage (temporarily or sometimes permanently depending upon your age) and with that comes your very own menopause and its side effects like sweating and hot flushes
- You can suffer from evil constipation or diarrhoea (or both) that like you’ve never had in your life!